Genesis Pimentel tackles the fear of studying abroad, and what made her want to stay.

Genesis Pimentel, Class of 2023
American Studies Major with a Certificate in Creative Writing

 

I did not want to study abroad.  

I had been hesitant to apply to any program, but if I were to go anywhere, I was going to go to Spain. All summer, I had been researching all the places I might want to live, researching the food, and telling my mother I was dead set on Spain.  

However, Wesleyan is strict about programs they have an equivalent for. I wanted to study without a host family because of my previous experiences of racism with a French host family. From my encounter with Spanish exchange students, I also knew that Spain is generally hostile to Black migrants and Black people from the Hispanic Caribbean, many filled with ignorance about their own colonial history.  

But I did not end up in Spain. So, how did I end up here? 

My decision to study abroad is underwhelming and almost upsetting in the sense that it wasn’t a decision at all. I turned towards locations where I did not have to know the language prior to going (that my mother would be okay with me going to). I turned to London and, on the recommendation of a friend, Amsterdam. I ended up applying to Amsterdam’s program only, and I was quickly accepted. Now, I had to answer the question: should I stay, or should I go? 

I felt completely neutral about the situation. Staying had its pros and cons. I would continue to make necessary money by staying as an RA, I’d be able to complete my major and take great classes, and I would be able to visit my family. If I went, I’d spend money and be all alone, but I’d be able to travel and experience new things. I asked 30 different people, and I got only two nos. Interestingly, the decision to go abroad at Wesleyan is somewhat passive. If you want to go, do nothing, and only act if you do not want to go. Paralyzed by my indecision, I took no action. The decision had been made for me. I was going to Amsterdam.  

As time marched closer to my move to Amsterdam, I began to panic. The program I applied through, CIEE, had a huge staff restructuring (and still is going through it), and because of this, they refused to properly inform us of certain aspects of the program. For example, they had issues with housing and ended up sticking most of us in Amstelveen with a roommate, about an hour away from the University of Amsterdam. The program left us in the dark for many things, and a lot of my experience has been figuring out how to live in The Netherlands without their help.  

I no longer wanted to go. Yet, I found myself begrudgingly packing, begrudgingly getting on the plane, begrudgingly traveling to this location I felt I was scammed into. And when I finally got to my room, set down my suitcases, and took off my coat, the first thing I did was cry.  

I am three months in, and I can decidedly say: I love it here.  

Despite my inability to speak Dutch no matter how hard I try; the Dutch are kind and patient. There’s a stereotype that the Dutch can seem rude due to their bluntness, but I have found that they just do not understand round-about answers. For example, when a waiter comes by in America, we might say “We’re all good” and based on context, the waiter will know if that means you do not need help or if you’ve finished eating. The truth is, the Dutch don’t respond to ambiguity, so it’s easier to avoid culturally specific phrases and you’ll find they’re just straightforward. 

I really fell in love with the little things. Amsterdam is a small, walkable city. Their public transportation system is so thorough and consistent. Comparatively, Middletown, CT is a mess. Connecticut in general I refer to as the highway connecting Boston and New York. Because the truth is, I would rather not have to walk alongside a highway to get to CVS because we do not have adequate public transportation. Dutch work-life balance is liberating. Dutch students would rather get a 5.5 (a Dutch C) than something closer to a 10 (a near-impossible A) if they can get their rest and social life. Not only are the people nice, but it is a diverse country where I was able to find people from the Caribbean to befriend and food from all over the world to try. 

The Netherlands is not perfect because no country is. You might experience racism, sometimes at the hands of the Dutch but even from tourists. But I have found this country to be the perfect place for me to push my own boundaries. I have grown to take risks that I otherwise would not. I am learning what it means to live on my own. I am here, traveling, trying, thriving, and learning how to be an interculturally informed adult. 

If you’re hesitant to study abroad, I understand that better than anyone; it’s a valid feeling. But if you feel like you want to even if it’s just a thought, just a feeling, just an itch, but you’re too scared, nervous, or anxious like me, I’d say brace yourself and take the leap.