“I’m Sorry But–” a poem by Sam Meagher ’21

My name’s Samantha Meagher. I’m from New Jersey. I’m a rising senior with a double major in Sociology and HISP. I wrote this poem because Wesleyan is a place that has allowed me to form deep connections and learn so much more about myself. It feels awful to be torn away from it so abruptly but I’m reminding myself that everything I’ve been through matters and we aren’t done yet. Knowing I have one more year left to take in everything Wesleyan has to offer and finish my story is keeping me hopeful in the midst of all this uncertainty.

I’m sorry but–

By Sam Meagher ‘21

Jess saving me on Olin’s steps.

Baring witness to cigarettes and stories without end. There’s proof

that we had something here.

The taste has faded from our lips but my

head’s still fucking ringing; the tape

caught in the deck.

 

Dry spots on Foss whose green had yet to

grow. I’ll see you soon

but none of us know when.

It should matter that we walked back together 

that last night. The words on the wall are

still there.

Two months learning to see through the fog.

My heart in the pit of my stomach.

The words on the wall are still there.

 

The dirt under my nails says be here now;

we haven’t lost it all.

You can lose something that hasn’t

happened yet.

You can grieve

by breaking sticks, by taking steps, by

crying,

by never shutting up, by clinging like so many

gathered burrs, by helping every single family member

whenever you can.

You can help by distinguishing future

from past. By having lived;

by living on.