Feeling Foreign

Culture shock is something you can prepare yourself for, but it is not until you experience it that you can understand what if feels like and how to work through it. In Paris, Nicholas experienced what it felt like to be an American in France.

A picture of me on the train to Marseille during the VWPP organized trip

Nicholas Summerson
Class of 2023
Vassar-Wesleyan Program in Paris, Spring 2022

When I arrived in Paris I was so excited to adventure and discover the city, meet French people, eat new food, go to museums, see the famous landmarks—but most importantly I was ready to have fun. After all I am a 20 year old college student and I want to enjoy life before graduation and entering the adult work world. However, the interesting aspect of being a study-abroad student is that you are not merely a tourist. I came to Paris to live for four months and this includes practicing the language, living with a host family, learning the transportation system and doing homework. Let’s just say this threw a bit of a wrench in my plans to merely have fun. But I am used to juggling responsibilities at Wesleyan so I knew I was up for the challenge. 

My first few weeks in Paris were exhausting in a good way. I felt myself becoming more and more comfortable speaking the language, navigating the city and I grew accustomed to French food. In fact I really enjoyed French food. The baguettes were amazing, the pastries delightful, and the main dishes, like beef bourguignon, gratin dauphinois and raclette were filled with flavors I never tasted before. All this discovery was tiring and I found myself needing a bit more rest than normal, but it was incredibly gratifying.  

A picture of the Sacre Coeur in Montmartre, this is one of my favorite neighborhoods in Paris and a great place to visit if you are feeling down because it is colorful, sunny and it has great views of the city.

The first weekend in February the Vassar-Wesleyan Program had planned a trip. I was very excited because I had always wanted to visit the South of France and the weather was supposed to be gorgeous. We boarded the train around 7:30 in the morning and we all settled in to our seats and got ready to watch the French countryside through our windows. About an hour into the trip my friend and I started talking and laughing. We were telling silly stories to each other in English, which was our little rebellion because the trip was intended to be a French immersion, when a woman turns around and starts yelling at us in French. When she realized that we were American she switched into fluent English and told us that she does not care about our stories and that we need to shut up. I responded by saying that it was not early in the morning anymore and we should be allowed to talk if we want. I was astonished by her aggressiveness and I tried to stand up for myself the best I could. She continued by saying that she should be able to sleep on the train even if its two in the afternoon and that we are not from France and as foreigners we were obligated to be quiet because she wanted us to be. I had never felt so foreign in my life. The entire experience was a bit surreal and I realized that I had no choice but to be quiet so she would stop yelling at me. Unfortunately, this was not the first time the French had a problem with the loudness of my voice. There have been other incidents like this on the metro, at restaurants, in theaters, and even at bars (where you would assume it is acceptable to be a bit noisy). There have been other uncomfortable moments such as French people staring at me and my friends when we are speaking English, insane levels of passive aggressiveness, disagreements with my host family, and general rudeness that hurts more because I’m not sure if it’s because I am American or not. I think the most hurtful has been when I had met people at the Sorbonne (a French university in Paris) that I considered friends and then one day they pretended like I was invisible. While this has been disappointing it has taught me to have thick skin. Unfortunately, because of my accent, appearance and mannerisms I don’t think I will ever be mistaken for a French person—but I have also learned to not be ashamed of being different. I can appreciate both cultures for what they are. 

A picture of me looking out on the bay of Cassis. Traveling was one of my favorite experiences while in France and I especially loved the South because it is so beautiful.

One of the best ways to deal with culture shock, in my opinion, has been to find the parts of French culture that I do enjoy. The chocolate and candy here are absolutely delicious. One of my favorite things in Paris has been a rose flavored marshmallow and a piece of chocolate called “pate d’or.” I ate both next to the Eiffel Tower at sundown and it was a beautiful sensorial experience. My favorite thing about Paris has been the quality of sensorial experiences, which the French have a passion for. I also really enjoy the amazing artwork, architecture and aesthetic value of Paris. I have given up on making a French best friend, but I have made great friends within the program and we have a ton of fun together. It is nice to have each other because we understand our jokes, cultural references, and music taste and this makes me less homesick. Visiting tourist sites has also been a way to alleviate the stress of being foreign because they are places that are meant for enjoyment and they remind me that I am here to experience Paris and not merely live like a Parisian.  

Overall, I have learned so much in Paris, not only about France but about myself and life as well. I have never had an experience like this before and I do not regret it, in fact I cherish it. My stay here has been like a mosaic, no part is better than the other because all of it is a whole that I appreciate for its complex beauty.  

Picture of the calanques of Cassis, a neighboring village of Marseille with great hiking a great beaches